My dad died from cancer when I was 11 years old. I was the eldest of five children and dad was my rock. I had no idea he was dying.
About a month before dad died I bought him a saw. Dad and I used to spend a lot of time in the garage, he tinkered, I chatted his ear off. He had been bed-ridden for about 3 months prior to his birthday. When dad opened the saw he said: "I can't wait to use this with you." My reply: "Yea, if you ever get out of bed again!" I could not understand why he was in bed all the time since I thought he just had a cold.
Three weeks later dad died at home. Have I ever regretted what I said about the saw, no. I was a child and had no conception with regards to what he was going through.
Fast forward: The morning of dad's death my brother and I were sleeping across the street at a friends home. Their mother came in and said we had to go home. I asked, "Why, we are supposed to go to church with you?" She replied: "Your mother needs you at home." My heart began to race as we walked out the door on that crisp winter morning in February. My brother and I began to walk together, but suddenly I began to run. My brother told me to slow down and I said NO! He yelled, "Why are you running?" I shouted back, "Because dad died." My brother was so upset he yelled back, "No he didn't, you liar." It was 7am when we walked through the door to see my Aunt washing dishes. I knew then that dad was gone.
I never got to say goodbye to Dad so I thought. It wasn't until years later I remembered that I did have the chance. Mom told us to kiss dad good night before we left for our friends home. Dad had no idea we were leaving for the night. I kissed him good night while saying the words, and dad hugged me and in a very weak, hoarse voice he said: "I love you, good bye." Dad knew his fate that night before I left the room.
For years after he left I really wanted to see my dad again, and knew it wasn't possible, or was it? I woke up one morning when I was 19 years old from a dream. The real question... was it really a dream? It was very vivid, and I can recall every aspect of the 'dream.' Dad and I were standing outside my town home I lived in at the time and we were facing each other. It appeared we were about 6 feet apart. My arms were outstretched towards dad as his were towards my arms. Dad spoke, but his mouth did not move. It seemed telepathic in nature. Dads words to me were as I tried to run to him: "I'm at peace, and it's not your time yet." I pondered the words "it's not your time yet," for years. I was only 19 years old, and thought to myself, "why would it be my time?" Years later it made sense. As I was trying to run to my dad in order to connect, he was trying to tell me I could not reach him, because it was not my time. When he told me "I'm at peace," I believe that was a message for my mom, because she used to have nightmares about him not being at peace. When I told my mom about the dream/encounter it gave her a sense of calm and peace.
Was this a dream? Honestly, I believe I had an very real encounter with him, and I will be forever grateful. I had one years later; the same 'dream' my aunt had verbatim. I will write about that another time. It's my belief that their physical bodies leave us, but the energy never does. Good night 'daddy.' One day we will meet again.
Good therapy!
ReplyDeleteI believe its what you needed.
ReplyDeleteI lost my Mother when I was 10 but only dreamed of her once, when I was a teen. She was in a line for something and I ran up to her all happy to see her and asked where she had been. She replied that she has just been very busy and has had much to do.
That may have been a dream but recently I lost my little brother to cancer. He kept having dreams of seeing our mother. Now, when she died he was only 5 so really his mothers had been our stepmothers but it was she he was seeing.
Two nights before he died he was overheard speaking to our mother, saying he knew it was his time but asking if he could stay a little longer.
I do believe she came to him and took him home, though most in the family think it was the morphine.
Whats real? The older I get the more blurry the line between dreams and reality gets and when it comes down to it, its what you feel is the truth IS the truth.
Hi 3d, you sure have had your share of losses and I'm very sorry. I can't imagine what it must have been like to lose a young brother. I worked in healthcare for years and witnessed many people dying. I can attest that they too, saw loved ones that had already passed on. Many would ask, can you see 'my mom' eg, and they would point to a chair or the window. I would always say, she looks beautiful. "Yes, yes"... the dying person would reply with enthusiasm in their voice. Some people would see beautiful colors, others were talking to loved ones that had already passed. It's just my opinion that Science will never be able to prove that life stops after death. I have read so many books about NDE's and it's very hard if not impossible to refute what people have shared after a Near Death Experience. I believe your brother did see your mom and as you said, the truth is what YOU feel to be the truth. Thanks for reading and sharing your story. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this with us. Such a sad, yet peaceful - heart-rending, beautifully written experience.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to read Poesravenlady! Appreciate.
ReplyDeleteI believe that we are more awake internally when are sleeping as our subconsciousness is active at that time.
ReplyDeleteI think you have had an encounter because of your own bond and connection as well as the knot with in you that needed to be released.
I like the way you have written this post... so simple and beautiful flow...
Om Namah Shivaya
Shashi
Shashi, Thank You for taking the time to read this. I too, believe it was an encounter- it didn't feel dream like & it was in color. It's unusual to remember every aspect of a dream; especially years later. Thanks for your very nice comment! Namaste~
ReplyDelete